If you’re familiar with Harry Potter you’ll know that there are various levels of magical ability from witches and wizards through to squibs and muggles.
The same thing applies to nerds.
On one hand you might be a fully elected member of the Nerdengamot, or you may be a nuggle with no discernable nerd interest whatsoever. Take the test below to find out where you stand in the great nerd state of things.
You’ve read this far, give yourself one point. Nerds like tests.
Question 2 – Do you wear glasses, have spots and no social life?
Geez, we’re not dealing with stereotypes here. If that’s what you think a Nerd is give me back that point I gave you for Question 1.
Question 3 – Can you quote a large part of the dialog of any movie?
Add a point. Add a bonus point if it’s Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
Question 4 – Do you know what’s below your feet right now?
Add a point if you answered “The center of the Earth”. Add a bonus point if you actually know what’s on the opposite side of the world to you (without using the NerdNav to find out). Deduct a point if you said “shoes” or “carpet”.
Question 5 – Do you know a lot more than average about a particular subject?
It can be any subject. Add a point. Nerds are not all comic books, fantasy and sci-fi.
Question 6 – Are you into Comic Books, Fantasy and Sci-Fi?
Add a point, because some nerds are. Add a bonus point if you binge-watch any of; The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl, Arrow, Agent Carter or Agents of SHIELD.
Question 7 – Can you hum the theme tune to any of the following?
- Fraggle Rock – add a point.
- Red Dwarf – add a point
- Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom – add a point (but only if you don’t have kids under 5).
Question 8 – Do you like Sports?
No points either way. The idea that it’s Nerds vs Jocks is so eighties (but add a point if you’ve seen the 80’s movie Revenge of the Nerds which is based on exactly that premise.).
Question 9 – Do you have any hobbies or interests that your friends or family don’t like to talk about?
As long as the interests or hobbies are legal, add a point. Add a bonus point if you hold a position of authority on the subject.
Question 10 – Do you know what Charmeleon evolves into?
Add a point if you said “Charizard”. Deduct a point if you thought that Charmeleon is that “multi-colored lizard thing that eats bugs”.
Question 11 – Do you collect anything?
Add a point for yes. People who collect stuff are usually nerds.
Question 12 – Do you secretly watch kids TV?
Add a point if you do, but only if you don’t have young kids. Take the point away again if you watch Victorious or Jessie. Add a bonus point if you can name 5 or more different kinds of Power Ranger, and I’m not talking about the colors.
Question 13 – When you go to your local multiplex to see the latest blockbuster movie…
Add a point if you make a conscious effort to pay attention to the movie’s frame rate. Deduct a point if you tell your friends that the frame rate is WAY too low for the size of the screen. It might be true but nerds have a duty not to impose their beliefs on nuggles (unless you saw the movie in an IMAX theatre of course, if which case some things just have to be said).
Question 14 – Have you been to a museum in the last 12 months?
Double jeopardy! Add a point for yes. Deduct a point for no. Deduct a further point if you don’t know what double jeopardy really is.
Question 15 – Do you think that Game of Thrones is the best TV series ever?
Add a point. Add a bonus point if you agree with my blog post that we’d be better off without the teleportation.
Question 16 – Do you know a software language?
Add a point. Virtually everyone who can write code is nerdy.
Question 18 – Do your friends or family come to you when they’re having computer problems?
Add a point, but only if you tell them “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”. Add a bonus point if you do it in an Irish accent or play them a recorded announcement.
Question 19 – Do you have the NerdNav app installed on your iPhone or iPad?
Add a point, but only if you’ve made an in-app purchase and thereby contributed to my retirement fund, or left a positive review on the app store. (Hey, that’s a good idea 😉).
Question 20 – Do you know your current score?
If you’ve been keeping a tally of your score as you move along, add two extra bonus points. You’re obviously a nerd. Add another bonus point if you spotted that there’s no Question 17.
The maximum score is 28. See where you rank.
-5 to 0. I guess you came here by mistake?
0 to 10. Sorry, but you’re a bit of a nuggle. You really need to pay attention to your nerd studies.
11 to 18. You have nerd tendencies, but are you making the most of your talents?
19 to 26. Excellent. You are clearly of a nerdous disposition.
27. Oooh. So close. Perhaps you need to make that in-app purchase for an extra point ???
28. Order of Einstein. First Class. The Nerdengamot awaits.